No more dreary town hall meetings for John McCain. The man who has consistently ridiculed Barack Obama for his stadium rallies and ardent followers can now attract thousands of bellowing supporters of his own. Of course they’re not showing up to hear the old man grumble about Iran and insist that he understands the economy. The adoring throngs want a glimpse of the rifle-toting, lipstick-wearing, hockey hooligan Sarah Palin. And so they arrived at the airport in Blaine today by the thousands, toting “Hockey Moms for Palin” signs and sporting buttons emblazoned with “Read my Lipstick: Change is Coming.” 

A group of roughly 50 protesters greeted the arriving masses. One of them helpfully directed the Palintologists to their rally: “Bridge to nowhere to the right.”


Rep. Michele Bachmann was the hit of the pre-Palin activities. She got the crowd riled up with a typically loopy speech, declaring ANWR “the most perfect place on the planet to drill.”

A suspiciously masculine hockey mom.

The crowd stared out at the tarmac as they waited for McPalin to arrive.

Thank God for the fucking teleprompter.

Where the hell was Tim Pawlenty? McCain’s former BFF was nowhere to be seen. They were probably afraid he’d hip check Palin off the stage.

Rally attendee George Wirtz had an enigmatic one-word answer for every question thrown at him. Why was he supporting McCain-Palin: “Truthful.” What did he like about Palin’s speech? “Country.”

Sylvia (no last name, please), from East Bethel, was a Mitt Romney supporter during the primary season, but is now enthusiastically backing the GOP ticket. “I’m really enthused about Sarah,” she says. “I like her guts.” But does Palin have the experience to be president? “She not going to be the president,” Sylvia says. “She’s the back-up to John McCain. Why are they asking if she’s ready to lead? She’s his back-up. She needs to step in if he is not ready to lead. We’re not asking that question about Barack Obama and the man that he’s chosen as second in command.”

Carol Billig, who came to the rally from Stillwater, relates to Palin. “She pretty much stands for what I am,” she says. “I have seven children. I’ve been a working mom. I have three military sons and a military daughter-in-law. One of my sons is a purple heart recipient. There’s a lot of women in this country that identify with her. She’s a hard working mom. She’s an average, middle-class-type person who’s worked very hard and been successful in politics. ”

Aaron Moy missed the speeches because he couldn’t get past security with his giant cardboard Palin bobblehead. The 38-year-old electrical engineer from Eden Prairie says he’d never heard of Palin before she was announced as McCain’s VP pick, but believes she’s qualified for the post. “There’s too much experience already over there and it’s not doing any good,” he says of the nation’s capitol. “She’s done more in her two years as Governor than the rest of them have done in Washington for 35 years.”

Denise Ziperski, from New Auburn, Wisconsin, has been trailing the McCain campaign for the last month hawking shirts, buttons and hats. “This has been really an awesome rally,” she says. “Lots of people came, they were excited, we had really good sales — it’s been wonderful.” Ziperski is uncertain where she’s headed next. “We sold out so well today that we might have to go back to Missouri and get some product,” she says.